L8r, G8r Read online

  SnowAngel:

  hey, zo. sorry about not making it to the airport.

  zoegirl:

  that’s ok. i mean, i’m sorry 2, but no big deal.

  zoegirl:

  doug says “hi,” btw

  SnowAngel:

  aw, “hi” to him 2

  SnowAngel:

  so did you fall into a passionate embrace the instant you saw him?

  zoegirl:

  well, his parents were there, so more like a really big hug. but omg, it felt *amazing*! it was like my whole body just opened up against his. like, ahhhhhh, this is what i’ve been missing.

  zoegirl:

  his arms were so strong, and he smelled so good, and he held me for what seemed like forever.

  SnowAngel:

  sounds wonderful

  zoegirl:

  i couldn’t keep my hands off him. seriously, it was like an addiction. i can totally see where that expression came from, that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

  SnowAngel:

  huh, maybe i should i try that with logan. whaddaya think—should i send him off to SEA the world?

  zoegirl:

  and on the way home, we *did* get to … you know. be more physical. his parents had a driver waiting for them in a limo, so for the car ride back it was just me and doug and maddie.

  SnowAngel:

  doug didn’t wanna take the limo?

  zoegirl:

  no way! he wanted to be with me!

  zoegirl:

  mainly we just snuggled, since maddie was in the front seat. but it was pure bliss.

  SnowAngel:

  “pure bliss”? wowzers.

  zoegirl:

  you know what i mean, cuz you have that with logan.

  zoegirl:

  hey, let’s go on a double date this weekend! you and me and doug and logan!

  SnowAngel:

  uh … sure. i mean, lemme check with logan, but that would be fun.

  zoegirl:

  not on friday, cuz on friday i want doug all to myself. but how about saturday? it could be a pre-valentine’s thing, since valentine’s day is the following tuesday.

  SnowAngel:

  okey-doke—IF my nose is back to normal.

  zoegirl:

  angela, logan won’t care. he worships the ground you walk on … which is good, because otherwise i might worry that you’d steal doug away. (jk! i’m TOTALLY just kidding!)

  SnowAngel:

  zoe! it makes me feel bad that you would even say that.

  zoegirl:

  i’m sorry, i guess i’m just thinking about last year.

  SnowAngel:

  well, don’t. god.

  zoegirl:

  but i know you would never do that. we’re in a totally different situation now. we’re both so lucky!

  SnowAngel:

  not to bring you down or anything … but are you doing all right with the whole jana weirdness? maddie finally gave me the complete story—sounds icky

  zoegirl:

  it was. i told doug about it, but he didn’t understand why it creeped me out. so i explained jana’s whole history with us, and turns out he didn’t remember *any* of what happened in 10th grade. doesn’t that blow your mind?

  SnowAngel:

  u think everyone should remember just cuz we do?

  zoegirl:

  well, yeah!

  SnowAngel:

  me 2

  zoegirl:

  i mean, jana emailed that picture of mads to the whole entire school. you’d think doug would remember a topless photo!

  SnowAngel:

  maybe he never saw it

  zoegirl:

  everyone saw it. didn’t they?

  SnowAngel:

  well, doug doesn’t travel in the same circles as “everyone.” that’s part of his charm.

  zoegirl:

  yr right. and actually, that makes me happy. he does not need an image of a topless anybody in his mind.

  zoegirl:

  but anyway, i told him that from sophomore year on, jana’s been nothing but trouble for all 3 of us. how on the one hand that made it hugely satisfying to see terri take her on, but on the other hand it gave me a chill. cuz now jana associates me with her moment of shame … and with jana you never know where that’s gonna lead.

  SnowAngel:

  pissed and unstable—not a good combination. (plus you know her secret about Boo Boo Bear, hee hee)

  zoegirl:

  but in a way talking to doug about it was good, because he didn’t see what the big deal was even after i explained. it made me be like, “ok, time to chill. you have better things to do than worry about jana.” i have doug back, and that makes everything ok.

  zoegirl:

  g-nite, angela! I’M SO IN LOVE!!!!

  Wed, Feb 8, 10:02 AM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  YO! why aren’t you at school, missy?! you didn’t stay home cuz of your nose, did you?

  SnowAngel:

  hey now, how shallow do you think i am?!

  mad maddie:

  angela …

  SnowAngel:

  well … yes. yes i did. you wld have 2 if you looked like me!

  mad maddie:

  yr missing Senior Pet Day! how can you miss Senior Pet Day? yr the prez of the planning committee that came up with this swill!

  SnowAngel:

  swill! the senior planning committee comes up with delightful activities to celebrate senior-ness. it does not come up with SWILL.

  mad maddie:

  ted aronson brought a pig. he dressed him in tighty-whities.

  SnowAngel:

  did you bring chumley the psycho kitty?

  mad maddie:

  yeppers, on loan from my dear bro mark. he piddled on mr. bradley’s carpet.

  SnowAngel:

  mark?

  mad maddie:

  good one. no, chumley.

  SnowAngel:

  i’m so sorry i missed it

  mad maddie:

  you should be. i can’t believe your aunt sadie let you stay home cuz you think you LOOK bad. here i am in the fluorescently lit media center with chumley the psycho kitty digging gashes into my thighs, while yr languishing about eating bon bons and feeling sorry for yourself.

  SnowAngel:

  the blister is at its peak of foulness, maddie. it is a pustule of terror.

  mad maddie:

  ha. “The Pustule of Terror,” coming soon to theaters everywhere.

  mad maddie:

  which actress should we get to play you?

  SnowAngel:

  ooo, excellent question. but if we’re gonna make a movie, we have to make it of all 3 of us. and we’re not calling it “The Pustule of Terror.” we’ll call it … hmm. “The Winsome Threesome: Senior Year.” how ’bout that?

  mad maddie:

  very nice. and now: the cast?

  SnowAngel:

  i know who i want for me: leighton meester

  mad maddie:

  dude, yr so not leighton meester. she is icy cool, and you are lovely and warm.

  SnowAngel:

  *preens happily* i am?

  mad maddie:

  how about taylor swift?

  SnowAngel:

  hahahaha. i wld LOVE to be played by tay-tay, but her hair’s the wrong color.

  mad maddie:

  so she’ll dye it a lovely light brown

  mad maddie:

  or … i know! reese witherspoon!

  SnowAngel:

  2 old. i luv reese, but i don’t wanna be played by an oldhead.

  mad maddie:

  i’ve got it. hayden panettiere, only once again with a minor dye job

  SnowAngel:

  ooo, i like hayden panettierre! she’s approachable, not snotty, and she cares about clothes, but not in a show-off-y way. i say yes to hayden!

  mad maddie:

  what about me?

  SnowAngel:

  oh, yr easy. mar
y-kate olsen, cuz yr so shy and retiring.

  mad maddie:

  ha ha

  SnowAngel:

  let’s c … for real?

  SnowAngel:

  we need someone who’s beautiful, but not ladylike.

  mad maddie:

  definitely not ladylike

  SnowAngel:

  someone who wears sweats instead of tiny tees. who’s not afraid to chug a beer or tell a dirty joke. someone you’d want to party with.

  SnowAngel:

  i know! jennifer lawrence!

  mad maddie:

  oh yeah, right!

  SnowAngel:

  i’m serious! jennifer lawrence in one of her blondie phases. she’s tough and beautiful, just like you.

  mad maddie:

  i wish, but thx for the thought

  mad maddie:

  hold on—ow!

  mad maddie:

  sorry, chumley was doing some nipping.

  SnowAngel:

  what about zo? i’d say katie holmes, except that her having a kid and being divorced kinda throws a wrench into that. katie’s perfect in terms of the sweet-shy-smart category, tho.

  mad maddie:

  plus the dark eyes and dark hair, especially now that zoe’s grown it out. although personally i liked zoe’s hair better when it was chin length.

  SnowAngel:

  really? i like it long. now she can do french-twist-y things, very elegant.

  mad maddie:

  but katie falls into the oldhead category too, so i’m axing katie.

  SnowAngel:

  how about kristen stewart? KIDDING!

  mad maddie:

  oh barf. the hair? sure. but *nothing* else, and certainly not that pouty-eyeliner thing she has going on.

  SnowAngel:

  oh! ellen page! ellen page!

  SnowAngel:

  or wait, that girl from City of Bones, remember?

  mad maddie:

  ellen’s good, but she’s a bit snarky for zoe. she’d have to lose the ’tude. the other actress you’re thinking of is … wait a sec … lily collins.

  SnowAngel:

  yeah! her!

  mad maddie:

  how about this: we’ll offer the job to ellen and lily both, and whoever accepts 1st gets the role.

  SnowAngel:

  deal

  SnowAngel:

  who should we get for the role of snarky evil dragon lady?

  mad maddie:

  otherwise known as jana?

  mad maddie:

  it’s our movie. she’s not invited

  SnowAngel:

  good point

  mad maddie:

  altho i DO have a new chapter in the dragon tales. zoe and i were chatting by our cars this morning, and jana pulled up next to us in her station wagon. i took a sneaky-peek for Boo Boo Bear, but there was waaaaay too much crap. mcdonald’s bags and coke cans and that ratty army blanket she keeps handy for who knows what.

  SnowAngel:

  her skanky interludes?

  mad maddie:

  probably—with Boo Boo Bear looking on!

  SnowAngel:

  it’s weird how a girl who cares so much about her appearance can be such a slob when it comes to her car.

  mad maddie:

  i know

  SnowAngel:

  if i had a car, i’d treat it right.

  mad maddie:

  you could hide a horse in jana’s backseat and she’d never know.

  SnowAngel:

  did she say anything when she saw you guys?

  mad maddie:

  she climbed out of her car and gave us an absolute death look, and zoe, being totally un-subtle, elbowed me in the ribs and said, “see? see? i told you!”

  SnowAngel:

  what’d you do?

  mad maddie:

  i burst out laffing—i couldn’t help it.

  mad maddie:

  jana was THIS close to marching over and scorching us with her fire-breath, i’m not kidding.

  SnowAngel:

  you just draw ppl to you, don’t you? yr so sweet and cuddly.

  mad maddie:

  why yes, i am

  mad maddie:

  wanna know who i’ve drawn to me who i very much wish was UN-drawn to me? and i’m not talking about jana. i’m talking about a certain someone who latched onto YOU when you lived in el cerrito last year, and who now, apparently, has latched onto ME.

  SnowAngel:

  uh oh *chortles into hands*

  SnowAngel:

  did you get another email from glendy?

  mad maddie:

  glendy is YOUR nutcase, not MINE. why is she sending me her stupid freakin chain letters???

  SnowAngel:

  why do you keep reading them?

  mad maddie:

  you sure are glib for someone who’s experienced glendy-love firsthand. she STALKED you, angela. and now she’s stalking me!

  SnowAngel:

  oh, muffin, you don’t know what stalking is. has she bombarded you with care bears? noooo. has she invited you to dolphin-themed sleepovers? noooo. if she weren’t the daughter of my dad’s boss, i would have throttled her long ago. but luckily for glendy, she’s zillions of miles away in california, so i deal with her by ignoring her—which is what you should do, you freak.

  mad maddie:

  but why why why is she sending emails to someone she doesn’t know?

  SnowAngel:

  she must have gotten your addy from some group email i once sent, i dunno.

  SnowAngel:

  she collects ppl like butterfly collectors collect butterflies.

  mad maddie:

  i am not glendy’s butterfly!

  SnowAngel:

  if you go to her facebook page, you’ll c she lists over 4,000 friends. now c’mon. does anyone other than famous ppl really have 4,000 friends?

  mad maddie:

  the email i got from her today was titled “This Is Beautiful … And You Will Cry!” however, it was NOT beautiful, and i did NOT cry. it was about a made-up person who survived a hurricane or a tsunami or something, and there was a link to a fund where we cld send money. it makes me so mad that ppl try to exploit disasters real live ppl really do go thru.

  SnowAngel:

  why don’t you just block her messages?

  mad maddie:

  cuz then i couldn’t complain about them. duh.

  mad maddie:

  at the end of the terrible disaster email, it said “let’s see satan stop this one,” followed by instructions to send it to 5 more ppl in 60 seconds, blah blah blah.

  SnowAngel:

  of course glendy probably sent it to 60 more ppl in 5 seconds … make that 2,000 more ppl …

  mad maddie:

  ack, g2g. chumley is hissing at pete mazer’s iguana, and Peaches the Friendly Librarian is trotting over to break up the fray.

  SnowAngel:

  good ol’ peaches. give her a squeeze for me.

  mad maddie:

  fo shizzle!

  Thu, Feb 9, 4:15 PM E.S.T.

  zoegirl:

  hurray for angela! you returned to school—AND YOU SURVIVED!

  SnowAngel:

  barely. ppl stared, zo. it was one of those deals where everyone’s eyes wld drift down to my nose then jerk back up, like, “oh, don’t mind me. sure didn’t notice that horrible blot on your face—nope, sure didn’t!”

  zoegirl:

  sweetie, your nose is so much less horrible than you think it is. i mentioned it to doug, and he said he wouldn’t have even noticed if i hadn’t pointed it out.

  SnowAngel:

  gee, thx

  SnowAngel:

  speaking of doug, what was up with his whole cheese rant?

  zoegirl:

  what was up with you giving him such a hard time about it? everyone in the cafeteria was swiveling their heads to see what was going on. they were like, “ok, what’s HER deal?”

  Sno
wAngel:

  oh please. exaggerate much?

  SnowAngel:

  he sounded so pretentious, that’s all.

  zoegirl:

  well i guess they have better cheese in other parts of the world, because the cheeses there aren’t pasteurized or something.

  SnowAngel:

  uh huh, whatevs. i LIKE american cheese.

  zoegirl:

  so do i

  SnowAngel:

  and not just cheese made in america, but actual orange squares of american cheese. it’s the only kind for grilled cheese sandwiches.

  zoegirl:

  all i’m saying is that *yr* the 1 who made a big deal out of it, not doug. and i guess it seemed a little … over the top. even kristin was like, “does it not bother you that angela spent the whole lunch period monopolizing your boyfriend? she talked to him more than you did!”