Ttfn Read online

  SnowAngel:

  oh well

  SnowAngel:

  c ya at dylan’s!

  Thu, Nov 25, 11:45 AM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  good morning to u on this lovely day of giving thanks, which we americans call thanksgiving, and which wld be far lovelier if not for the taste of sour beer wafting about my tonsils.

  mad maddie:

  can anyone say cottonmouth?

  zoegirl:

  hi, mads. i see you’re still recovering from last night.

  mad maddie:

  that was so much fun. i kissed chive on the washing machine, did i tell u?

  zoegirl:

  yes, maddie. you called me from your cell phone even though i was 20 feet away having a very nice conversation with doug, which you interrupted. you were all, “i’m kissing chive on the washing machine! hahaha, isn’t that hilarious? i’m kissing chive on the washing machine!”

  mad maddie:

  cuz u r my friend. cuz i wanna share my life with u.

  zoegirl:

  and then you gave your phone to chive and made him talk to me. it was very random and unnecessary.

  mad maddie:

  i did not make chive talk to u.

  mad maddie:

  did i?

  zoegirl:

  you don’t remember? afterward, doug and i talked about how much we hate it when people do that. “here, talk to my great-aunt zelda.” “here, talk to my buddy from camp whom you’ve never met and never will.”

  mad maddie:

  weird. well, what did u say to chive on the phone? what did HE say?

  zoegirl:

  he was nice, i guess. he was like, “let’s see, you’re the shy one, right?”

  zoegirl:

  maddie, did u tell him i was shy?

  mad maddie:

  i dunno, i might have

  zoegirl:

  why?

  mad maddie:

  what do u mean, why? cuz ur my bud.

  mad maddie:

  i told him all about angela too

  zoegirl:

  well, that’s sweet, but please don’t go around telling people i’m shy.

  mad maddie:

  but u R shy

  zoegirl:

  a little, maybe. with some people. but it made me feel dumb.

  mad maddie:

  chive made u feel dumb?

  zoegirl:

  noooo, not chive. he must have realized i was embarrassed, because he said, “hey now, nothing wrong with being shy. just don’t be afraid to let loose, okay? you can’t always stand around with your hands in your pockets. sometimes you’ve got to bust a move!”

  mad maddie:

  ha. bust a move. not sure how that relates to being shy …

  mad maddie:

  so did u like him? don’t u think he’s awesome?

  zoegirl:

  i did like him. he had that drunk-and-sincere thing going on, but he was kind of charming.

  mad maddie:

  he’s cute too. more like gorgeous.

  zoegirl:

  if you say so. but what’s going on here? i thought you and chive were just friends.

  mad maddie:

  we r!

  mad maddie:

  what, u think i wanna be his girlfriend?

  zoegirl:

  doug assumed you were. he saw the two of you together, and he said it looked like you were really into each other.

  mad maddie:

  that’s just chive. he does this deep-gaze thing when ur talking to him, as if ur the only person in the whole world that matters.

  zoegirl:

  well, like i said, doug thought you were a couple.

  mad maddie:

  doug, doug, doug. why the obsession with doug? anyway, the two of u hung out for the whole party, but that doesn’t make YOU a couple, now does it?

  zoegirl:

  hanging out versus hanging all over …

  zoegirl:

  kidding!

  mad maddie:

  i’m gonna let that slide, cuz at least i’m getting some.

  zoegirl:

  ick! maddie!!!

  mad maddie:

  it was cool that doug came to dylan’s, though. i don’t usually see him at those parties.

  zoegirl:

  we were chatting at work, and i told him about it. i thought it was cool that he came too. i was glad.

  mad maddie:

  i liked his shirt

  zoegirl:

  “tough guys wear pink”? he wore it on purpose for the kids at Kidding Around. graham especially. (graham’s that adorable three-year-old i told you about.)

  zoegirl:

  last week graham wore pink socks, and a girl named ashleigh told him that only girls are allowed to wear pink.

  mad maddie:

  alas, it starts so young

  zoegirl:

  but graham didn’t seem fazed. i call him graham cracker.

  mad maddie:

  bet he’s never heard that in all his 3 yrs

  zoegirl:

  last night i played candyland with him, and i let him land on queen frostine even though that wasn’t the card he drew. he said, “you’re the best, zoe.” he kept saying it over and over. “you’re the best.”

  mad maddie:

  awwww

  mad maddie:

  so i thought angela did pretty well with the whole party thing, didn’t u?

  zoegirl:

  freakily well, given all that’s going on.

  mad maddie:

  no doubt cuz of THE BRACELET

  zoegirl:

  ah, yes, *the bracelet*

  mad maddie:

  but now she’s having her thanksgiving dinner at eleven in the frickin morning and preparing to jet off to california. isn’t that just wrong?

  zoegirl:

  i hate that. it makes me so worried for her.

  mad maddie:

  worrying won’t do anything. it’ll only stress u out.

  zoegirl:

  yeah, but *not* worrying about it is like … denial. i mean, there’s a very real chance that she’ll have to move.

  mad maddie:

  and there’s even a realer chance that she won’t. stop being a negative nelly.

  mad maddie:

  and now the googlewhack attempt of the day. let’s c, how about “graham’s hero” …

  zoegirl:

  you’re changing the subject!

  mad maddie:

  i’m sorry to report that graham’s hero got 876,000 hits. guess ur not as special as u thought u were, zo.

  zoegirl:

  maddie, this is what denial *is*! doing everything you can to deny that something’s happening!

  mad maddie:

  no, this is called having fun on the computer searching for the perfect 1.

  mad maddie:

  i know, i’ll try “sudsy canoodle,” in honor of chive.

  mad maddie:

  good lord—4,820 hits. what is wrong with the world?!

  zoegirl:

  um, hate to burst your bubble, but i just tried “inchoate despot” and got only one hit. then I tried “insouciant lavalier” and got ZERO hits!

  mad maddie:

  what? no. impossible. hold on …

  mad maddie:

  phew, i am right and you are wrong. *i* just tried “insouciant lavalier” and got 15,200 hits.

  zoegirl:

  but …

  zoegirl:

  huh???

  mad maddie:

  zoe, hate to burst *your* bubble, but u can’t use quote marks when u google yr two words. u know that, right?

  zoegirl:

  oh.

  mad maddie:

  yes. oh. which reaffirms my point: the world is OUT THERE, and it is wild and woolly and filled with things both possible AND impossible. so until we know which category angela’s move falls into—don’t worry!!!

  Thu, Nov 25, 2:45 PM E.S.T.


  SnowAngel:

  hey, mads. i’m at one of those airport newstands. it sucks. i told my parents i needed gum, but really i needed to get away from them.

  mad maddie:

  hey, girl! sorry about the suck, but i’m so glad to hear from u! when does your plane take off?

  SnowAngel:

  too soon, that’s all i know. let’s talk about something else. let’s talk about the party.

  mad maddie:

  i’m totally with u.

  mad maddie:

  what’d u think of chive?

  SnowAngel:

  oh, he’s CUTE, maddie! he’s thoroughly cute, in a stoner boy kinda way.

  mad maddie:

  chive is SO not a stoner boy. u just think that cuz he likes to party.

  SnowAngel:

  no, i think that cuz of the way he acts, cuz of the way he looks at u all lazy and slow and appreciative. u know, like, “it’s cool, dude.” that’s his vibe.

  mad maddie:

  that’s his VIBE?

  SnowAngel:

  u know who he reminds me of? Matthew McConaughey, with that sexy smile of his.

  mad maddie:

  i’ll take that. matthew m. is hot.

  mad maddie:

  and i’m very impressed u can spell his name.

  SnowAngel:

  cuz i read “People”

  mad maddie:

  but chive is so much more than “it’s cool, dude.” he’s really into philosophy, and he’s taking all these literature classes. did u hear him quoting charles bukowski while dylan funneled a beer?

  SnowAngel:

  who’s charles bukowski?

  mad maddie:

  and that whole story about his dog, napoleon, and how he’s gonna pimp him out by putting a gold chain around his neck. that cracked me up.

  SnowAngel:

  i liked the fact that he went to the keg and got u refills. that was very gentlemanly.

  mad maddie:

  a few too many refills, unfortunately

  SnowAngel:

  well, i wasn’t gonna say anything …

  mad maddie:

  i was so wasted i fell off the toilet seat. it was hysterical.

  SnowAngel:

  yes, it sounds hysterical *looks extremely suspiciously at friend*

  mad maddie:

  oh, don’t go all zoe on me. i didn’t tell her about that little incident, btw.

  SnowAngel:

  fine, but i DO worry about u. just a little.

  mad maddie:

  u don’t need to. sometimes i get kinda psycho, but it’s all fun and games.

  mad maddie:

  so were u surprised to see doug?

  SnowAngel:

  that was so awesome that he came! i’m so proud of zoe for inviting him.

  SnowAngel:

  and for the record, she looked adorable in her embroidered jeans and that soft white shirt that actually shows off the fact that she’s a girl. i was like, “wow, did she dress up for the party?”

  mad maddie:

  nah, not our zo. sez she came straight from work.

  SnowAngel:

  with doug. i know. i made a point of talking to him, cuz he seemed so shell-shocked at being at a real live party.

  mad maddie:

  oh no, teenagers on the loose! oh no, underage drinking!

  SnowAngel:

  do u think he seemed different somehow? last night he kinda seemed cuter to me than usual.

  mad maddie:

  u r so funny. u just think that cuz for the first time in recorded history, he wasn’t slobbering all over u. all of a sudden he’s unattainable, so u miraculously think he’s cute.

  SnowAngel:

  unattainable? who says he’s unattainable?

  SnowAngel:

  not that i WANT to attain him …

  mad maddie:

  no, u just want him to lust after u in a constant state of angela-worship, like he did all last year. admit it!

  SnowAngel:

  maybe he’s gotten taller. maybe that’s what it is.

  SnowAngel:

  anyway, i kinda ended up flirting with him a bit too much—i don’t even know why. but that’s ok, i’m sure he’d rather be flirted with than not flirted with.

  mad maddie:

  a pity flirt. yr too kind.

  SnowAngel:

  aren’t i? i should give lessons to zoe. when i interrupted the two of them, she just stood there like a doormat. i was like, “liven up, zo! ur never gonna catch a guy like that!”

  mad maddie:

  from where i stood, i’d say zoe was doing just fine.

  SnowAngel:

  with DOUG?

  SnowAngel:

  they’re just friends. anyway, u were drunk, so yr judgment doesn’t count.

  mad maddie:

  ugh, don’t remind me

  SnowAngel:

  crudballs, they announced that it’s time to board the plane.

  mad maddie:

  wait, don’t go!

  SnowAngel:

  i have to, i have no choice

  mad maddie:

  well, call me from california—i want to hear how everything goes.

  SnowAngel:

  i’ll try, but my battery’s low and i forgot my stupid charger.

  SnowAngel:

  real quick—did u like my “believe” bracelet?

  mad maddie:

  i did, oddly enough. i liked it very much.

  SnowAngel:

  i keep touching it and looking down to admire it. i know it’s stupid, but it gives me strength.

  mad maddie:

  power to the bracelet! all bow down and chant “believe”!

  Thu, Nov 25, 7:06 PM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  the Kinnick Family Dinner of Thanksgiving has mercifully ended, and now i’m at java joe’s escaping the hellhole that is my house.

  zoegirl:

  why is your house a hellhole?

  mad maddie:

  cuz the moms is on her third glass of chardonnay, and the dishes are stacked to the ceiling. my brother’s girlfriend has taken it upon herself to wash them, only she insists on doing it au naturel cuz its better for the environment. she sent me out for dish soap—that’s what i’m supposedly doing.

  zoegirl:

  mark’s still going strong with pelt-woman, huh?

  zoegirl:

  omg. i just realized something horrible. we’ve been calling her pelt-woman for so long that i can’t remember her real name!

  mad maddie:

  her armpit hair is long enough to braid, zoe. her name IS pelt-woman.

  mad maddie:

  hey, have u talked to angela?

  zoegirl:

  i did, but not for long because her phone died. short version: she’s not having fun.

  mad maddie:

  well, that’s the surprise of the century.

  mad maddie:

  holidays suck. there’s so much pressure.

  zoegirl:

  i like holidays

  mad maddie:

  that’s cuz ur zoe and u’ve got the perfect family. that’s cuz your mom and dad aren’t gonna end up throwing beer cans at each other.

  zoegirl:

  maddie, your parents are not gonna throw beer cans at each other.

  zoegirl:

  are they?

  mad maddie:

  fine, wine bottles. and chumley the psycho kitty will attack the remains of the turkey, and before the night is over, pelt-woman will insist that we write something in her gratitude journal. and i will write, “i am grateful that the moms’ empty chardonnay bottle only dislocated my shoulder and not my brain.”

  zoegirl:

  you are so full of it

  zoegirl:

  who’s chumley the psycho kitty?

  mad maddie:

  don’t ask

  zoegirl:

  i just did

  mad maddie:

  oh. right.<
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  mad maddie:

  chumley is mark and pelt-woman’s new cat. he’s living with us until mark finds a place of his own.

  zoegirl:

  and when will that be?

  mad maddie:

  never, cuz he’s a loser. he’s 22 yrs old and the moms still tucks him in at night.

  zoegirl:

  lol

  mad maddie:

  and ppl wonder why i have issues? exhibit a: my family.

  zoegirl:

  aw, mads, *we’re* your real family. me and angela.

  mad maddie:

  believe me, i’d much rather be giving thanx with u guys. last year at this time, we were all sleeping under the stars on cumberland island. man, that was awesome.