Yolo Read online

  zoegirl:

  I know, I know.

  zoegirl:

  it is hard to not physically BE with someone. Skyping helps, and FaceTime, but it’s nothing like the real thing.

  SnowAngel:

  that might be the whole problem, you know. it’s so easy to read someone’s signals wrong over texts.

  zoegirl:

  maybe

  zoegirl:

  but this morning’s weirdness DIDN’T happen over text.

  zoegirl:

  did I tell you the part about how he interrupted me?

  SnowAngel:

  mainly you told me that he seemed kind of distracted.

  zoegirl:

  because he did. it made me wonder what he was distracted BY.

  SnowAngel:

  that’s the kind of thinking that’ll drive you nutso

  zoegirl:

  and then, right as I was in the middle of saying how excited I am to see him this weekend, he cut me off and said, “Zoe, you know I love you, but you don’t have to come up tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

  SnowAngel:

  what? why? and why didn’t you tell me earlier?

  zoegirl:

  I don’t know. because I was embarrassed?

  zoegirl:

  then he went on this spiel about “it’s such a long drive, we’ve both got so much work, and shouldn’t you be making friends at Kenyon?”

  SnowAngel:

  hmm

  SnowAngel:

  first of all, don’t EVER be embarrassed to tell me anything. that is the law and you know it.

  SnowAngel:

  second of all, I agree that it’s strange for him to tell you not to visit him, but he’s kind of right about the friends thing.

  SnowAngel:

  he’s making new friends, so shldn’t you do the same thing? and then you wldn’t feel so lonely!

  zoegirl:

  I *am* doing that!

  zoegirl:

  kind of

  zoegirl:

  I just don’t like parties and loudness and being bumped into by drunk people. I always feel like such a wallflower.

  SnowAngel:

  but you choose to be a wallflower! if you got in there and, like, mingled, it wld be a whole diff story!

  zoegirl:

  whatever. it’s not even a two-hour drive from Kenyon to Oberlin. doesn’t he *want* me to come?

  SnowAngel:

  oh, sweetie, I’m sure he does.

  SnowAngel:

  are you still going to?

  zoegirl:

  yes, because I love him.

  SnowAngel:

  I know, but you can’t spend ALL your time missing him.

  zoegirl:

  I don’t! I’m also studying my butt off!

  zoegirl:

  but what if I can’t help it?

  SnowAngel:

  you can.

  zoegirl:

  can I?

  SnowAngel:

  aaargh. you are awesome and wonderful—of course you can! !!!

  Fri, Sept 20, 10:39 PM P.D.T.

  mad maddie:

  hey, kids. are either of you awake?

  mad maddie:

  Zo? Angela?

  mad maddie:

  anyone . . . ?

  mad maddie:

  curse this different time zone nonsense!

  mad maddie:

  but! my plan! Zo, did Angela tell you I have a plan for the three of us?

  mad maddie:

  if not, that’s ok. I’ll tell you myself. I haz a plan!

  mad maddie:

  it came to me on the plane ride. I was reading the stuff in my orientation packet, and there was a section with advice from past students, and one of them said something like this:

  mad maddie:

  “college is a time to experiment. your path won’t always be clear, but this is your chance to figure out what you want to do with your life. don’t let fear hold you back.”

  mad maddie:

  and I totally agree. don’t y’all?

  mad maddie:

  so we, the winsome threesome, are going to make a pact that we will Eat. College. Up. we gotta hit the ground dancing before the music slows down!

  mad maddie:

  we’ll try everything that comes our way, and we won’t be afraid, because even tho we’re spread out all over the country, we’re still here to support each other.

  mad maddie:

  I know you’re probably thinking, “der, of course we’ll support each other. it’s a given!”

  mad maddie:

  and it is, but I mean it in a very intentional way. like, if we ever need that extra push to try something scary, we can think to ourselves, “hey, if Angela can stick with the Business 101 course she accidentally registered for and Zoe can stand up to the girl who hogs the washing machine by leaving her wet clothes in it FOR HOURS, then surely I can [fill in the blank].”

  mad maddie:

  yolo, baby.

  mad maddie:

  YO.

  mad maddie:

  LO.

  mad maddie:

  so that’s my plan, kiddos. we won’t say no to a single opportunity that comes our way.

  mad maddie:

  everyone in? if not, speak up now . . .

  mad maddie:

  *hum of distant mini-fridge*

  mad maddie:

  *crickets chirping*

  mad maddie:

  *ticking of clock*

  mad maddie:

  we all agree! YAY! here’s to taking the leap!

  Sat, Sept 21, 8:53 AM E.D.T.

  zoegirl:

  hey, Maddie. I saw yr five zillion txts when I woke up this morning. you scared me—I thought something was wrong!

  zoegirl:

  as for your plan . . .

  zoegirl:

  I agree in theory, but I’m not *quite* sure I’m ready to commit to doing *everything* that comes my way. I’m saying that to be honest, because you know that if I make a pact, I take it seriously.

  zoegirl:

  right now, tho, I’m about to take off to see Doug and I need one of yr pep talks.

  zoegirl:

  Mads?

  zoegirl:

  oh yeah. time zone. oops.

  zoegirl:

  well, I’ll be on the road for a couple of hours, so if you wake up in time, call me. I need to know how you and Ian are handling the whole awful distance thing!!

  Sat, Sept 21, 9:38 AM P.D.T.

  mad maddie:

  hey, lady. just talked to Zoe—she’s not a happy camper.

  SnowAngel:

  is she at Oberlin? is she with Doug?

  mad maddie:

  yes at Oberlin. not sure if she’s with Doug-o. when we hung up, she was still sitting in her car in the parking lot. said her stomach hurt from nervousness.

  SnowAngel:

  poor girl. there’s something wrong if you’re nervous to visit yr boyfriend, huh?

  mad maddie:

  yeah. she told me how Doug’s been pulling away, and how scared she is, and I just wanted to . . . agh. give her a Popsicle.

  SnowAngel:

  a Popsicle, huh? cuz Popsicles always make things better?

  mad maddie:

  exactly

  SnowAngel:

  you and Ian are dealing with the same stuff, but you don’t have a nervous tummy about him, do you?

  SnowAngel:

  btw, how IS Ian? the boy goes to the same school as me and I never see him. prolly cuz he’s a GDI.

  mad maddie:

  what’s a GDI?

  SnowAngel:

  a goddamn independent

  mad maddie:

  a goddamn whatie-what?

  SnowAngel:

  it means he’s not a Greek. he didn’t pledge a fraternity.

  mad maddie:

  haha. can you for a single microsecond see Ian in a fraternity?

  mad maddie:

  *gives Angel
a a microsecond to ponder*

  mad maddie:

  hahahaha. thought so.

  SnowAngel:

  whoa, you type FAST.

  mad maddie:

  but no, Ian doesn’t give me a nervous tummy (except in a good way). then again, he came and saw me off at the airport, so it’s been all of two days since I’ve seen him.

  mad maddie:

  then AGAIN, he’s Ian. we’re solid, babes.

  SnowAngel:

  SnowAngel:

  and now back to me. since I am *not* a GDI, and since I’m super-cool, I’m going to a mixer tonight at the Kappa house.

  SnowAngel:

  wanna know the theme?

  mad maddie:

  Angela. surely you know by now that I am not a “theme” girl.

  SnowAngel:

  it’s “Can’t Be Tamed.” as in, ROAR! R-O-A-R!!!

  mad maddie:

  ugh. blah. GROSS.

  mad maddie:

  the idea of a roaring sorority girl is very disturbing and likely to give me nightmares.

  SnowAngel:

  boom-boom-clap on yr head.

  SnowAngel:

  it’s going to be fantastic. everyone gets to dress up as an animal! or a pet!

  mad maddie:

  an animal OR a pet?

  mad maddie:

  what kind of pet isn’t an animal?

  SnowAngel:

  *sticks out tongue*

  mad maddie:

  ooo, I’ve got one. how about a louse? lice live on your head, so that makes them pets, right?

  SnowAngel:

  no

  mad maddie:

  Angela, it wld be MY DREAM COME TRUE if you go to your party as a louse. wld you? for me? please?

  mad maddie:

  SnowAngel:

  I’m not going to my first mixer as a louse. *pouts and puts hands on hips* I mean GOD, Maddie. like, really?

  mad maddie:

  you’re imitating a sorority girl when you ARE a sorority girl. sweet!

  SnowAngel:

  I’m going as a

  mad maddie:

  a kitten? really?

  SnowAngel:

  meeee-ow!

  mad maddie:

  HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK

  mad maddie:

  that is the sound of me coughing up a hair ball. is it yr goal to degrade women everywhere?

  SnowAngel:

  *licks paw* *arches back* *swishes tail sexiliciously*

  mad maddie:

  barfing again

  SnowAngel:

  at least I have plans. my roommate, Lucy, never has plans. ALL SHE EVER DOES IS STAY IN THE ROOM AND READ.

  mad maddie:

  reading! in college! the horror!

  SnowAngel:

  and when she does go out, she does weird things, like lurk around the dorm all skulkishly.

  SnowAngel:

  she’s also stealing my Q-tips.

  mad maddie:

  ?

  SnowAngel:

  I’m not kidding. Lucy is stealing my Q-tips, and it’s NOT cool, only I don’t know how to confront her about it.

  mad maddie:

  how do you know she’s stealing yr Q-tips? do you count them?

  SnowAngel:

  don’t judge

  mad maddie:

  you’re my boo thang, A. I wld never.

  mad maddie:

  hey—you’re on board with plan yolo, right?

  SnowAngel:

  dude, it’s college. I was never planning on NOT living it up. plus, you’re *my* boo thang. how cld I say no to you?

  mad maddie:

  excellent. just took a screen shot so you can’t go back on yr word. byeas!

  Sun, Sept 22, 11:56 AM E.D.T.

  zoegirl:

  well, Mads, you were right.

  mad maddie:

  of course I was.

  mad maddie:

  about what?

  zoegirl:

  about neediness turning a guy off.

  zoegirl:

  and by a guy, I mean Doug.

  zoegirl:

  and by neediness, I mean . . .

  mad maddie:

  way ahead of you, girl.

  mad maddie:

  oh, Zoe. what happened? r u still at Oberlin?

  zoegirl:

  yeah, in Doug’s dorm room. he’s still sleeping.

  zoegirl:

  as for what happened . . . arrghhh.

  zoegirl:

  there’s a girl who lives on Doug’s hall named Canyon. Canyon—what kind of a name is that?

  mad maddie:

  a cool name, unfortunately. which sucks.

  zoegirl:

  it’s not her fault her parents gave her a cool name. I realize that. and it’s not her fault that she, herself, is cool. I suppose it’s also not her fault that stupid Oberlin has coed dorm halls AND coed bathrooms.

  mad maddie:

  Oberlin has coed bathrooms?

  zoegirl:

  Doug gets to see Canyon in her pj’s! yay!

  zoegirl:

  Oberlin even has coed dorm rooms, but Doug at least didn’t opt for that.

  mad maddie:

  whoa

  mad maddie:

  if I went to Oberlin, I cld have a guy for a roommate?

  mad maddie:

  I don’t know how I feel about that. I truly don’t.

  zoegirl:

  Canyon explained the philosophy behind it, not that I asked. she said the lack of “conventional boundaries” makes it so that guys and girls can be friends instead of seeing each other as sex objects, but what she MEANT was that Oberlin is just cooler than every other college in the world.

  mad maddie:

  I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea of having a dude for a roomie.

  mad maddie:

  I haven’t met my own roomie, btw. I know what her name is—Zara—but for now I’m rooming with a girl named Shannon. she’s cool.

  zoegirl:

  why haven’t you met your own roomie?

  mad maddie:

  they mixed us up for orientation so that we meet more ppl. on Tuesday we move into our real dorm rooms. I’ll meet Zara then.

  zoegirl:

  oh

  mad maddie:

  so, you went to Oberlin to see Doug. you met a girl named Canyon. at some point there was neediness, I’m assuming, and at some point Doug did/said something that made you sad/mad/ whatever . . . ?

  zoegirl:

  BLAHHHHHHH

  zoegirl:

  I drove all this way to see him, and when I got here, he was like, “Zoe. Awesome. It’s so good to see you. So listen, I’m playing cards later with some ppl in my dorm. Wanna join?”

  mad maddie:

  “it’s so good to see you”?!!

  zoegirl:

  “it’s so good to see you” and “want to play cards?”

  zoegirl:

  that’s weird, right?

  mad maddie:

  was Canyon one of the card-playing ppl?

  zoegirl:

  yes, and she and Doug shot “witty” remarks back and forth all night long.

  mad maddie:

  about what?

  zoegirl:

  about everything.

  zoegirl:

  politics, Oberlin’s cafeteria food. some inside joke about “just the tip? just the tip?”

  zoegirl:

  it was hiLARious. Canyon thought so, anyway.

  zoegirl:

  also Canyon was wearing a tank top, and her bra strap kept slipping down, and she made sure everyone in the room knew all about it. every five minutes, she was like, “Omigod, my bra keeps falling off. Whoops, there it goes again!”

  mad maddie:

  at least she was wearing a bra. that’s good, isn’t it?

  zoegirl:

  no. yes. maybe. her bra was polka-dotted and adorable, and I hated it.

  mad maddie:

&nb
sp; some of the girls in my dorm are not perma-bra wearers. it is unnerving, not so much cuz of the lack of bra(s), but because I’m aware of the lack of bra(s). and because I’m aware of being aware.

  mad maddie:

  I mean, normally I’m the “pish-posh, who cares about conventions” girl, aren’t I? isn’t that *my* role?

  zoegirl:

  it is, yes. but not wearing a bra is . . . I don’t know. I want to say tacky, but maybe I need to think about it.